A person’s sexual orientation is defined by their emotional, romantic, and sexual attraction to another person’s gender. It is a significant part of an individual’s personal identity and can greatly impact how they move and interact in the world. At Denver Couples & Sex Therapy, our team integrates LGBTQIA+ affirming therapy and relationship therapy to ensure our clients’ individual identities are appreciated and respected in the work we do.
Understanding Sexual Orientation
Different classification systems and terminology have been used throughout the centuries to describe a person’s sexual attraction to other genders. In the 1860’s, LGBT activist, Karl Heinrich Ulrichs, spoke out against anti-homosexual rights and published a series of pamphlets describing a sexual orientation classification scheme for men- dionings, urnings, and uranodionings. Shortly after, human rights activist, Karl-Maria Kertbeny, coined the terms heterosexual and homosexual. Today, there are over twenty terms to describe an individual’s sexual orientation, a list that is ever-growing and evolving. Our increased terminology reflects our expanding understanding of sexual orientation, as well as our shift away from heteronormativity.
Different Parts of Sexual Orientation
While sexual orientation has historically been defined by someone’s attraction sexually to another gender, we now understand attraction is not limited to sexual interest. Rather, attraction can also be defined by an individual’s romantic or emotional experience with another. This de-sexualized approach to sexual orientation gives space for individuals who are not sexual, feel emotional or romantic attraction more meaningfully, or who differ in their orientation sexually, emotionally, and romantically.
Gender Diversity
Our understanding of gender has also expanded- reaching far beyond a binary system of male and female. With increased gender diversity and fluidity, how we define an individual’s attraction to another has evolved. While many individuals still identify as lesbian, gay, hetero or homosexual, so many more labels have been created for those who do not fit into these defined boxes.
Exploring Different Types of Sexual Orientations
As mentioned, there are now over twenty different labels a person can use to define their sexual orientation- each of which carries significant meaning and weight. To provide an in-depth understanding of all sexual orientations would require a textbook, (republished every 6 months for edits and new additions). However, it can be helpful to understand a few of the larger umbrellas individuals may identify with.
Homosexuality
Homosexuality is defined as a person who is sexually or romantically attracted to people of their own sex. For example, an individual identifying as female who is sexually attracted to other women may identify as lesbian. Additionally, a person who identifies as a male who is romantically attracted to men may identify as gay. (Lesbian and gay are two of the most common terms associated with homosexuality.) It is important to understand though that homosexuality, like other sexual orientations, is not defined by genitalia or an individual’s assigned sex at birth. For example, a transgender female who has not surgically transitioned and is attracted to other women may identify as lesbian. Furthermore, the emphasis in all of these examples is on the word “may.” The label provided for the partnering described is one way an individual might identify themselves sexually; however, it is not the only way they may choose to define their sexual orientation.
Understanding Bisexuality
Bisexuality is one term that is used to describe an individual who is sexually or romantically attracted to both men and women or to more than one gender. Bisexual individuals commonly struggle with not being straight or gay. They may feel isolated from the camaraderie of the LGBT community, question their personal experience, or face skepticism from others regarding the genuineness of their attraction. People may assume bisexuality is a phase or indicative of a person who is still questioning their sexual orientation. However, being attracted to both your gender and another gender is a real experience, and stepping into this identity can be incredibly freeing and empowering for bisexual individuals.
Breaking Binary Boundaries
As gender identity has continued to evolve and expand, so too has the need for more gender-inclusive labels for sexual orientation. For those who do not adhere to or fit outside of a binary gender system, lesbian, gay, or bisexual might not feel encompassing enough to define their sexual or romantic orientation. Terms like pansexual, omnisexual, and polysexual have been coined to help describe the experience of people in a non-binary-gendered way. This expansive perspective on sexual orientation has allowed many individuals to step into an identity that feels more honoring to multiple parts of themselves and their partners– sexual and romantic attraction and gender identity. See below for just a few quick definitions of different types of sexual orientation:
- Polysexual: A term defined by sexual or romantic attraction to multiple genders.
- Pansexual: A term used to describe attraction to all genders and sexes.
- Androsexual: A term used to describe an attraction to all males or masculinity; this term is inclusive of all people who identify as male.
- Gynesexual: A term used to describe an attraction to all females or femininity; this term is inclusive of all people who identify as female.
- Questioning: A way for individuals to identify if they are questioning their sexual orientation or gender identity.
- Abrosexual: A term used to describe an individual whose sexual orientation is fluid or changing over time.
Asexuality and the ACE Spectrum
Some individuals, however, experience little or no sexual attraction. Asexuality is an umbrella term used to describe people who experience little or no sexual attraction or experience sexual attraction in a non-normative way. Asexual, or ACE, individuals experience sexual attraction on a spectrum and can identify their attraction in many ways inlcuding but not limited to:
- Demisexual: An individual who only experiences sexual attraction after an emotional connection is developed.
- Greysexual: Someone who identifies somewhere between sexual and asexual.
- Queerplatonic: A person who experiences non-romantic relationships with intense emotional connection that goes beyond a traditional friendship.
It is important to understand that asexual people can experience many types of intimate and meaningful relationships. While they may not experience sexual attraction, they can experience romantic, platonic, or other forms of attraction.
The Expanding Spectrum
The rainbow that has historically represented the LGBT community only continues to grow– adding new colors, variations, and combinations. This expansiveness has opened the world to the experience of being queer or anything that isn’t exclusively heterosexual or cis-gendered. Rather than a limited world of black and white, our community can experience color– a beautiful landscape of questioning, curiosity, exploration, and fluidity.
LGBTQIA+ Affirming Therapy
At Denver Couples & Sex Therapy, our practice celebrates diversity and expansiveness with LGBTQIA+ Affirming Therapy. Our therapists are trained to work with individuals of any sexual orientation or gender identity. If you are in need of support regarding your sexual orientation or if you just want your sexual orientation to be understood and appreciated in your therapeutic work, our clinicians are here for you. Reach out today to schedule your free consultation!
Denver Couples & Sex Therapy was established to provide both top-tier couples and sex therapy. Our practice recognizes the importance of specific training and expertise in both relationships and human sexuality. We are committed to offering comprehensive care that encompasses a client’s entire being.
